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The Seasons are all Messed Up

As I sit here looking out of the window of my Siberia Manchester home on this late-March morning, I ask myself but one question: “Why the hell is it snowing outside?”

Yes, global-warming, global-cooling or just the sun playing silly buggers, there’s no doubt that the seasons are all messed up at the moment.

Perhaps it is because we have almost got the Premier League wrapped up and it isn’t even April yet or perhaps it is because there’s an International break but the journalists, desperate to find a story to fill those column inches, have decided Silly Season, which is usually reserved for those months between May and August, should also be brought forward by a month or two.

Looking at the “papers” this morning, I see that we’re still, apparently, looking into bringing in Stoke’s goalkeeper Asmir Begovic and this is “proved” by the presence of a United scout at Bosnia’s match against Greece the other day.

We’re apparently also looking at Benfica defender Ezequiel Garay and Porto’s Alex Sandro with this latter touted as a possible replacement for Patrice Evra.

I have no doubt at all that Fergie and his staff are watching players all over the world at all times but funds are limited as are squad places, these three represent the tip of an iceberg that will, unlike its globally warmed counter-parts, only grow as the summer (should it ever make an appearance) progresses.

It is a fact (i.e. I have just made this up) that 99% of these stories end up being complete fabrication on the part of the journalists and, even if not entirely without substance, rarely lead to an actual signing. Whatever signings Fergie makes this summer will likely to contain at least a couple completely out of left-field and all these “in-the-know” journalists won’t be able to point to a single reference to them in the articles they have published between now and August.

It’s all good fun, though, just remember to have a rather large bowl of salt handy when you read them although, given the current conditions, rock-salt may be more appropriate.


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